Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sean Sutton beats Pat Knight in Fortunate Son Bowl

American values in focus this edition: Class, responsibility, meritocracy

‘Murkan values in focus this edition: Lack of all of the above.

I apologize for being a couple of days late on this one…..just got caught up on this news. But read on, for more Pat Knight ‘Murkan ‘class’ is forthcoming…..I promise, this will not disappoint.

Last week, a historic game was played in the opening round of the Big 12 conference basketball tournament. Oklahoma State played Texas Tech. Why is this historic? Well, OK State is coached by Sean Sutton, who (for no apparent merit-based reason) inherited the head-coaching job from his father Eddie Sutton (who, incidentally, had to quit after getting into an accident while driving drunk), while TxTech is coached by Pat Knight who (for no apparent merit-based reason) inherited the job from his father Bob Knight after Bob quit on his players and his program mid-season, because, well, he’s Bobby freaking Knight and who the hell are you to question him you miserable worthless piece of shit? So anyway, this TxTech-OK State game was a historic tussle between two teams coached by 'legacy' coaches a.k.a. fortunate seed.

As it turned out, TxTech lost to OK State, and I thought it would be worth looking into the Pat Knight post-game presser (we know from previous pressers that poor Pat Knight is burdened with a team full of stupid, heartless, gutless players who just don’t get the goddamn genius that is his coaching)---anyway, without further ado, I give you Coach Pat Knight, from his presser after the OK State loss:

We made a lot of dumb mistakes. It comes from being casual. Kids think they've got a thousand possessions. They make a bad pass or they walk with it and they think they've got a couple hundred more to get it back. It was a hard-fought game offensively and defensively. We just made too many dumb mistakes”

And more from the ESPN report:

Knight said the overall season had "been a real letdown."

"The only guys that have the killer instinct on this team are my staff," Knight said. "The energy has to come from us. We've not had that extension of the coaching staff out on the floor. And you have to have that to be very good”

If only the kids could coach themselves on the floor….or if only there were someone who could effectively teach kids how to actually do all these things……if only there was a ‘teacher’….a ‘mentor’….to help….so that Pat can just focus on ‘winning’ and cashing his head-coaching salary checks and not be bothered with loser-agenda issues like ‘teaching’, ‘responsibility’, ‘planning to one’s resources’, ‘execution of a plan’ etc. Poor, put-upon, Patrick Knight.

By the way, Pat and Bob Knight actively recruited and signed all these players. Poor legendary Bob---these vile kids hatched an elaborate scheme all their lives just to hoodwink him into picking them. And poor Pat Knight---stuck with this abomination of talent….with a head coaching gig that pays hundreds of thousands of dollars that he didn’t have to qualify for…..stuck with with a free pass from the national press that took Billy Donovan to task, deservedly, for throwing his players under the bus, but curiously chose not to rake Pat over the coals for repeated offenses in that same category.

But he’s Pat Knight. Son of The General! The Sultan of Slap! The Suleimaan of Spank! The Admiral of Abuse! The Wizard of the Whip! The Pontiff of the Paddle! Patrick is a Diaper Dandy bayyybeeee! He’s unbelievable……he’s Awesome with a capital A!!!

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1 comment:

PhysioProf said...

Coaches blaming players for losses is fucking despicable. I had hopes that maybe the son wasn't as much of a sick-fuck piece of shit as his father. Apparently I was wrong.